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"Yeah, Dad, I'm your gay son," I said and I felt much better now that I'd shared the truth about my secret life with my father."Chad, we'll talk about all this later if you want," my father said as I could tell that my revelation to him was taking some time to sink in."I'd rather talk now while we're riding, Dad, if you don't mind," I said. So, my father and I talked candidly and he seemed to quickly open to my being gay and the fact that I was in relationships with other gay men like myself. And, he also enjoyed finding out that I had lots of lesbian friends but that I, of course, wasn't at all interested in my female lesbian acquaintances and they weren't one bit interested in me either.Before my dad and I got home from the ballgame, I think he'd pretty well accepted my gayness and I felt much better about having come out and told my father about my secret personal life. He and I stopped by a McDonald's for supper and then when we got home, we both got a beer and sat back to talk. ’ ‘I can’t fucking stand this’…. ‘Interfere?, with what?’ I asked.‘Like I was trying to explain…..dear……I have come to the realization that I am a whore.’ ‘ Now, before you get on your fucking high horse again, here me out.’ ‘What you don’t know, what I couldn’t bear to tell you honey, is that while I was being raped a part of me liked it.’ My heart felt like it was in a vise and I’m sure the look on my face said it all to Kelly. Kel continued, ‘I have been wrestling with this for weeks.’ ‘I feel that I have betrayed you, myself or at least my old self and maybe worst of all I feel like I am betraying all the women who are raped each year and are callously told…”You wanted it” or “You liked it” when they didn’t.’ ‘MY problem is, that, and I am sorry honey, I did like it.’ ‘I was scared to death at first’ ‘I thought he would kill me, kill you.’ ‘But after I sensed that he probably wouldn’t murder me, the fear, the thrill, adrenalin rush, the heat of the desire he.
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